Wow. A LOT of things have happened since I last wrote anything here. I can hardly remember how I felt back then except from that it wasn’t a very nice feeling. I’m still tired though, and a bit nauseous. It seems hard to break free from this but I’ll get there, in time. Because I’ve a very good feeling about my future now. And my body will adjust accordingly I’m sure.
I’m in Gili Air at the moment. It’s like paradise but it’s very hot and humid. And I’ve no AC. But somehow I feel it’s good for my body to feel all this heat. And I can take it. I’m actually not that sensitive to heat, I remember I was WALKING in Las Vegas a couple of years ago. That was HOT.
Last week I was on a retreat. I don’t see any point in trying to explain what happened to me there but I feel very grateful for having the courage to attend. Because it was hard some times. But I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve finally understood why I do things like I do. Why I act like I do. And I’ve accepted it. Even though that was really hard. But it’s all in me. No one else. I’m the one that has to change. And I’ll. I already have. In fact I’ve for some time already but from now on my life will look quite different. I truly believe this. I feel cleansed. I think I can finally learn to reach my full potential. And that feels very exciting of course!
One more thing that feels very exciting is my new diet. A diet without any restrictions. I’ll let my body guide me in this. (Like in everything else in life). Yes, I’ve given up my vegan diet and I didn’t know it would feel so liberating. I thought I was happy with plant based food. But I can feel now I wasn’t. It was mostly in my head. I did it mostly for the animals and the planet. But I can’t truly help anyone else if I don’t help myself first. So I’ll not feel bad about this. But I’ll do my best to eat in a conscious way of course. But without any limitations. That feels very important for me. I don’t want to limit myself in any way anymore. It’s a new way of living. It’s really time I start to enjoy my life. I’m done living in any other way. The world is open to me and I can do anything I want. It sure feels exciting.